mur-c-mi

"Why was I even born" moments

OK - so a while back Carla, on her blog, was really vulnerable about things that really scared her. She invited others to share their fears out load as well (or on the web) . I'm wondering if anyone would like to join me in sharing any of what I'm calling "why was I even born moments". You know those "if I hadn't been here, this wouldn't have happened," things. First of all, I know several people who really are plagued on a daily if not hourly basis by nagging thoughts that cause them to constitantly question their existence. I'm not trying to make light of that at all. But, having recently gone thru yet another one of those moments which involved Pete's USB memory key that had all of TRANSMISSION's financial information on it and me not properly shutting down a program which corrupted the key, it got me thinking about other times in my life when I've been shown immense amounts of grace. The first major incident was when I wrecked my dad's Volvo.

It was a bright summer day. I was home from College my folks were gone in my mom's car and I needed to go to the store, which was a mile away. At the time I was driving a wonderful '79 VW van. But, whether it was because I had no gas or because my dad's car had a better stereo I don't recall I chose to take his keys and his car WITHOUT HIS PERMISSION. To this day I am not sure what possessed me to pull such a stunt - it was not the norm for either my brother and I to drive our parent's vehicles. Anyway, I hopped in my dad's car without shoes nor a seat belt and proceeded down the mountain on which we lived. The windows were down and the stereo on and I was flying down this hill (everybody flew down this hill or at least I told myself this). At the bottom of this one part of this hill I could see a car, but it was too late when I realized it was not moving. There were no side streets and no apparent reason for a car to be stopped dead in the center of a rural road so by the time I saw it I slammed on the brakes but it was too late - I was going too fast. The tires locked up, I slid a long way and creamed into the back of this poor little Pacer. Had I been a more experienced driver I probably could've veared off onto the side of the road and just hit a tree or something. But, no I hit that car square in back with my dad's beautiful, navy blue Volvo.

For some reason I was unharmed. With that kind of force I should not have been OK, especially since I was not wearing my seatbelt. Maybe it was the wonderful design of the Swedes to absorb impact and leave the vehicle totaled. Fortunatley, the other driver seemed OK as well. I briefly talked to him saying I'd go make calls at my friend's house which happened to be a block or so from the scene (there weren't cell phones then). I could've easily been arrested for "Hit & Run" because I left the scene. My parents weren't home. Little did I know that they were actually passing by the scene right then, but did not recognize the car 1) because it was supposed to be in our driveway and 2) because it was so demolished. By the time I went back out to the scene a county Sheriff had arrived to direct traffic (which was piling up). Not too long after that my parents showed up after hearing the frantic messages on the answering machine. What happened after that I really don't remember. My parents covered everything. The car got fixed (which was never the same - I don't know if it was technically totaled, but the frame was bent and it never drove right again). I'm sure the other driver had a medical claim and his car was totaled (I never asked) all this on my parent's insurance. Needless to say I became I "high risk" driver - not to mention the other exceeding the speed limit citations I already had. I should've been giving a bus pass. I think my parents were glad I was alive, having seen up close what car crashes can do to people (they are physicians). My shame was probably punishment enough.

So there is one (if not two) of my stellar moments. I wonder if anyone else would care to share their triumphs so we can all nervously laugh together (all three that read this blog). Thinking of that car crash still gives me the chills and my parent's forgiveness and graciousness is immeasurable.

posted by kt @ 7/19/2005 09:27:00 AM